Halloween is right around the corner, and everywhere you look there are ghosts, skeletons, witches, and all sorts of things meant to scare the living daylights out of us.
I’ve come to the conclusion that once you reach adulthood, Halloween just doesn’t quite hit the same.
I mean, what’s a haunted house going to do to me that opening my electric bill hasn’t already accomplished?
You want to see something truly terrifying. Watch me check my bank account after a quick trip to Walmart. Nothing says who are quite like going in for three things and somehow spending $100.
Don’t get me started on the mysterious noises around the house. When you’re younger, a strange noise in the middle of the night might have you convinced there’s a ghost lurking in the hallway. As an adult, my first thought is “please don’t let that be something expensive breaking.” Honestly, I think haunted houses should start catering to adults. Forget the chainsaws and creepy clowns, just have someone jump out holding an unexpected bill or whisper “your vehicle is making a weird noise.”
Better yet, have a room where someone announces, “we need to talk” and then refuses to explain why. Now THAT would be terrifying.
Don’t get me wrong, I still love Halloween. There’s something about the decorations, the costumes, and the excuse to eat entirely too much candy that makes it one of the most entertaining times of the year.
But these days, if you really want to scare me, you don’t need a mask, fake blood, or a spooky soundtrack. Just tell me there’s a check engine light on.
Happy Halloween everyone! May your candy buckets be full, your decorations stay standing, and your bank accounts survive the holiday.