Let me…
ONHL Hospice Chaplain Drumright, Oklahoma
We all have days when we miss someone so terribly that our heart just aches. We never fully get over losing someone— nor should we. Their beautiful souls still move around us. We can feel their presence everywhere. Our hearts talk with their memory, sometimes often.
We sometimes speak to them, 'Life was bearable when you were here. Now there is an empty void. You gave me comfort and joy through life's struggles and victories. You made everyday life seem like a game, never caring about the outcome, but always eager to play. On the most stressful days you had the most uplifting spirit and contagious laugh that spread like wildfire. It is because you so loved me, were so uplifting, that we had so much fun. Those memories make me yearn for just one more day.
I long to see your beautiful smile, to feel your warm embrace, to hear the sound of your soothing voice, to feel your gentle touch, to hear your hearty laughter, to be mesmerized by the look in your eyes, and to feel your tender kiss. You were so special and so loved. You were such a loving and giving soul. I long for just one more day!
Let me cry on your shoulder, let me hold you near.
Let me tell you how empty this world is without you here. Let me tell you thank you for all of the wonderful memories.
Let me tell you about all the hurt and anger that I feel now that you're gone.
Let me tell you how abandoned I feel when I think about all the plans we made and all the unanswered prayers.
Let me tell you about all of my hurt and fears.
Let me tell you how much I love you and miss you, and how blessed I was to have you in my life.
Let me tell you that I just want to be selfish and keep you right here by my side!
We can't bring back those who were near, but we can live our life with the passion that they had. So many people lose large pieces of themselves when someone close to them passes away. They just give up; their happiness had been depleted. Life will never be the same, and they know it. The thing is, they are focused on the sorrow, the absence. Duringdeath,there really is no presence–only an afterlife that is their soul, and it can be felt everywhere. It may be your belief that they may be reincarnated. But...they surely are around you. Some days you may feel their presence stronger than other days.
What are they saying? They are telling you to LIVE! Don't waste a moment being unhappy. Don't be sad! Go back and visit the places that were special, see them with a new sense of wonder, and reflect on how happy you were. Take that happiness and carry it forth to new adventures. You have to learn to be happy again, to live again, and to love again. They are saying to be strong and just know that they are always by your side.
When you stop focusing on the sorrow, the absence, it doesn't mean that you are no longer mourning their loss. You will always mourn their loss, but in a different way. You can laugh and be happy and still mourn the loss of someone. You do this by celebrating their life and by celebrating your life. Celebrate life with those that surround you. Embrace everything and welcome new friends and experiences. Feel and live again; let the numbness be gone. If you need strength, I will pray for you to have strength. If you need a hug, I will send you a hug. If you want to feel again, take a moment to remember. If you are ready to see again, open your eyes, look around. Look very carefully and see them again. Take time to mourn, but don't get lost in time.
John T. Catrett, III Scissortail Hospice Chaplain 306 North Main St. Suite E Bristow, OK 74010 918.352.3080