John T. Writes about Joe T.
I first met Joe while attending Bible college in Oklahoma City. He was an upper classmate and I was a freshman. We had the privilege of getting to know each other better by playing basketball and attending several classes together during the next three years.
After he graduated we didn't see each other very often, but years later the Lord brought us together in the Tulsa area. We would see and visit with each other at preachers meetings, revivals, state and national conventions.
In 1980 my world caved in when the wife of my youth left me! Back in those days many legalistic people felt like this was the unpardonable sin in the ministry. Most churches would have tarred and feathered and run me out of town on a rail (or at least fired me), but my church family wanted to stand with me during this time! This experience taught me many things about friendship and acquaintances. I thought I had a lot of friends in the ministry and in the Christian community, but this heartbreaking experience revealed who my true friends were and who were merely casual colleagues.
During this time Joe would call and say, 'I am going to be in Tulsa. Let's have lunch together!' Joe was always concerned about my walk with God during this difficult time. He prayed for me and encouraged me each time we gathered together. Joe was a true friend in Christ Jesus, and all these other would-be associates were merely 'nodding acquaintances' in life.
Years later I was asked to speak at a Singles Retreat in the Tulsa area, and there was my precious friend Joe! His wife of his own youth had left him for her high school sweetheart, and Joe was raising his three children with a lot of bitterness in his heart. One of my messages that I shared at this retreat dealt with forgiving those who hurt us deeply. Joe unashamedly confessed that he could not do this with regards to his former wife. She hurt him and the children so deeply that he felt that he could never ever forgive her! I tried earnestly to reason with him from God's Word about the practicality of 'being a doer of God's Word' and the likelihood of developing other meaningful relationships in the future.
Now let's jump ahead in time! I became the minister of Lakeview Christian church family in Mannford, Oklahoma, and one of the first people to welcome me back to the area is my good friend Joe. He was remarried to a lovely lady from my home town of Hobbs, New Mexico. Wow! Amazing! Joe had been successfully ministering to several Christian churches in the state of Oklahoma. Then God called him into the chaplaincy ministry. He was a chaplain for a Drug and Alcohol Treatment Center and later a chaplain for Hospice Care ministry in Tulsa.
Joe had to retire due to health reasons. My precious friend was diagnosed with Parkinson's about 18 years ago, but he was blessed in that the disease did not significantly progress until the last four years of his life. Joe never complained about any of it, not even the pain, because that's the kind of man Joe was. He never wanted to be a burden. He knew God had a plan for his life and earth was not final resting place, as he looked forward to Heaven, and he now lives on for eternity with his cherished Savior, Jesus!
Now back to the forgiveness issue. I would like to share with you that I texted his former wife and asked her if my wonderful friend ever asked her for forgiveness? She revealed to me that at their youngest daughter's funeral, they both asked each other for forgiveness of the broken relationship as well as all the hurt that they caused with each other and their children. When I read that, I lifted my hands to heaven and said aloud, 'Way to go Joe! Thank you Jesus!'
I wrote to the family, 'A very good godly man in the hands of a great God!'
PS Writing is good therapy when tragedy strikes and heartache invades your life! How about writing this newspaper, and tell us about your cherished loved one that you lost in death? Who knows they might print it and send it to me! Wow!
John T. Catrett, III Scissortail Hospice Chaplain 306 N. Main St., Suite E Bristow, OK. 74010 918.352.3080