Our grief-avoidance society says, 'Get over it quickly, ' or 'Let it go and move on. 'Yet the pain and emotions cut deeper than a knife, oftentimes leaving us stuck and alone to suffer in silence. Someone that we loved has been taken away from us, and we are expected to act as if it were only a small cut on our finger. It appears everyone around us has moved on with life. They are back to work, family, fun, and happy times. It appears many have even forgotten about our loss.
My world was shaken many years ago when my best friend, my hero, my Mother, died. I lived to make her proud, to see her smile, to hear her express love and pride for her children. How could I possibly go on living without her? Yes,I was one who had to be carried emotionally from the gravesite as I literally asked myself, 'How am I going to go on without her?'
Grief help or support was not an option. Why? Because I wasn't aware that it even existed! I only heard, 'It just takes time.' So, I waited on time. Nearly nine years later, I changed careers and 'accidentally' entered the hospice care ministry. I thought this might work, as I would learn while helping other people learn to cope with personal loss. Was this move an accident or Divinely guided? During my first year there, something began to happen. While helping the many families and hearing the countless stories, slowly, but surely the wounds of my personal grief began to heal on a deeper level. Instead of avoiding pain by trying not to think about her, I revisited the cherished memories of my precious Mother’s life. Memories of the myriad of ways she taught by example, unconditional love, and respect for all. I allowed liquid words to carry the pain of loss away. I allowed Divine comfort to fill the void that was left. I allowed the people who I now call 'God with skin on' (you know 'the hands and feet of Jesus') to minister His love to me. Now, with fresh insight and understanding, I honor her legacy as I share with others how to overcome their wounds of grief, enabling them to come to a place of acceptance, peace and gratitude, too.
Dear reader, be open to unknown paths of learning how to deal positively with the cutting pain of loss, And don't be afraid to ask for help and support along the way.
John T. Catrett, III 306 North Main Street, Suite E Bristow, OK 74010 918.352.3080 john.catrett3@gmail.com