We all have days when we miss someone so terribly that ourheartjustaches. We never fully get over losing someone, nor should we. Their loving soul still moves allaroundus. Youcanfeel their presence everywhere. Your heart talks with their memory, sometimes often.
'Life was bearable when you were here; now there is an empty void. You gave me comfort and joy through life's struggles and victories. You made everyday life seem like a game, never caring about the outcome, but always eager to play. On the most stressful days you had the most uplifting spirit and a contagious laugh that spread like wildfire. It is because you so loved, were so uplif ting, that we had so much fun, which makes me yearn for just one more day.
I long to see your beautiful smile, to feel your warm embrace, to hear the sound of your soothing voice, to feel yourgentletouch, tohear your hearty laughter, to be mesmerized by the look in your eyes, and to feel your tender kiss. You were so special and so loved. You were such a loving and giving soul. I long for just one more day!'
'Let me cry on your shoulder, let me hold you near. Let me tell you how empty this world is without you here.
Let me tell you thank you for all of the wonderful memories.
Let me tell you about all the hurt and anger that I feel now that you're gone.
Let me tell you how abandoned I feel when I think about all the plans we made and all the unanswered prayers.
Let me tell you about all of my hurt and fears.
Let me tell you how much I love you and miss you and how blessed I was to have you in my life.
Let me tell you that I just want to be selfish and keep you right here by my side!'
We can't bring back those who were near, but we can live our life with the passion that they had. So many people lose large pieces of themselves when someone close to them passes away. They just give up; their happiness has been depleted. Life would never be the same, and they knowit. Thethingis, they are focused on the sorrow, the absence. During death,there really is no presence--only an afterlife that is their soul and that can be felt everywhere. They may be reincarnated if that is your belief. But, they surely are around you. Some days you may feel their presence stronger than other days.
What are they saying? They are telling you to LIVE! Don't waste a moment being unhappy. Don't be sad! Go back and visit the places that were special. See them with a new sense of wonder and reflect on how happyyouwere. Takethat happiness and carry it forth to new adventures. You have to learn to be happy again, to live again, and to love again. They are saying to be strong and just know that they are always by your side.
When you stop focusing on the sorrow, the absence, it doesn't mean that you are no longer mourning their loss. You will always mourn their loss, but in a different way. You can laugh and be happy and still mourn the loss of someone. You do this by celebrating their life and by celebrating your life. Celebrate life with those that surround you.
Embrace everything and welcome new friends and experiences. Feel and live again, let the numbness be gone. If you need strength,I will pray for you to have strength. If you need a hug,I will send you a hug. If you want to feel again,take a moment to remember. If you are ready to see again, open your eyes, look around; look very carefully and see them again. Taketimetomourn, but don't get lost in time.
John T. Catrett, III Scissortail Hospice Chaplain 306 North Main Street, Suite E Bristow, OK 74010 918.352.3080