Your life, like mine, is a series of interwoven relationships. Some are (were) wonderful life-giving experiences, and some are (were) disappointing, to say the least. The one thing they have in common is that they all worked, either together or against each other, to make us who we are today. If it weren't for the relationship my mother had with my father, I wouldn't be here. My mother helped me survive my infancy; my father was a blessing. My younger brother, Marvin, taught me things I needed to know, and my wife helps me every day to learn what it means to be a man, husband, and grandfather. Then, there is everyone else in my little world: my grown children, grandchildren, friends, neighbors, coworkers, ministers, and so on. Each one has their own life’s thread intertwined with my own and has influenced me in some way.
Dozens, hundreds, perhaps thousands of other people along the way picked me up when I fell down, kicked me in the pants when I needed it, chided me, encouraged me, forgave me, comforted me, calmed me, awakened me, insulted me, complimented me, taught me, listened to me, cried with me, laughed with me, loved me, hated me, etc. Because I'm over seventy-eight years old, I could make a long list of the people who helped form me into the person I am today. It's not over, as I'm not yet all that I can be. But life isn't just about the people who influence us; it's also about the people we influence.
In the forward of his book Loving Each Other, first published in the early 1980s, Leo Buscaglia tells the fable of a young girl who is walking through a meadow. When she sees a butterfly impaled upon a thorn, she very carefully releases it, and the butterfly starts to fly away. Then, it comes back, and changes into a beautiful good fairy. 'For your kindness,' the fairy tells the little girl, 'I will grant you your fondest wish.' The little girl thinks for a moment and replies, 'I want to be happy.' The fairy leans forward and whispers in her ear, and then suddenly vanishes.
As the girl grew, no one in the land was happier than she. Whenever anyone asked her for the secret of her happiness, she would only smile and say, 'I listened to a good fairy.' As she grew quite old, the neighbors were afraid the fabulous secret of a happy life might die with her. 'Tell us, please,' they begged, 'tell us what the fairy said.' The now lovely old lady simply smiled and said, 'She told me that everyone, no matter how secure they seemed, had need of me.' Buscaglia concludes the story with this five-word line: 'We all need each other.'
That means someone needs you and me! Imagine that! Sure, others have entered our lives for a second, or a season, or a lifetime, but we have also entered their lives. Not only are others impacting us, but also at the very same time we are impacting them, for good or bad. We are either a blessing or a stumbling block!
I can celebrate or denigrate what others have done for me or to me, but what have I done for others? Am I one who encourages, loves, cheers, etc., or am I a person to be avoided? Remember, life isn't just about the people who influence us; it's also about the people we influence.
So here's a challenge from yours truly: there’s someone who needs you today! Someone needs your love, your encouragement, or maybe just your presence. Maybe they need to witness you being there for someone … so you don’t really even “help” them personally, but you do inspire them from afar. So, get to work on those relationships – all of them -- close or casual. Value the people closest to you, express appreciation, pat someone on the back, or offer a word of affirmation. Do something as an act of kindness to someone to improve the quality of those interwoven relationships that make life worth living. There are many butterflies impaled on thorns. You and I can help set them free!
John T. Catrett, III Refuge Care Hospice Chaplain 306 North Main Street, Suite A Bristow , OK 74010 918.352.3080