What do I do when I have lost someone special to me? Losing a precious family member, a cherished friend, or someone really dear may takome time to heal from. The pain in our hearts may even be debilitating. This period of healing may even take away from the day in/day out need-meeting focus and rob of energy, as well as, force us to change priorities to make time to untangle our emotions and gain some understanding on how to grieve well and effectively. If you really want to help yourself to heal from your loss in a healthy way, then here are three positive thoughts about how to deal with grieve.
• First, take your time and don't get in a hurry! It may sound impossible to heal from the horrid racking pain you are facing right now, but by taking your time you can possibly learn how to deal with the pain and loss properly, naturally, and healthy. Remember, it may take a lot of energy as well as daring courage, but once you start facing your pain, you will surely find yourself improving a little bit by little bit at a time.
• Whenwehurt,weAmericans typically want instant relief. Oftentimes, what we choose in times of intense pain will bring a temporary relief but might 'bite' us later.
> Therefore, I would encourage you to cry out to your Creator and Heavenly Comforter for the 'peace that passes our understanding and keeps our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
• Next, be proactive and find a sensitive support system! I would encourage you to start by evaluating which of your family who have experienced loss could be of greatest comfort and guidance. Ask them what helped them the most. Much of the time grieving as a family (and with friends who are like family) is all you need, but sometimes this is not true, because those we are closest to can care deeply but not have the skills to help us process our losses in a healthy way. If that is the case for you, no problem. There are many wonderful services out there to help. Funeral homes oftentimes have grief support groups. Many churches have them, too. Be brave and bold! These people, whether friends, family, or strangers can give you the kind of support that can help you to gain your strength and confidence back. You can always talk to someone whom you find trustworthy for support and help. Never be afraid to socialize with people whom you trust, and learn to relax and have fun with them.
• Third and finally, letting go of the hurt, disappointments and regrets in your life! Now this can be the hardest part of the grieving process, but once you start to face your regrets, you will slowly begin allowing yourself freedom to have done your best, learned and improved. In time you will be smiling and laughing again. Realize that there was only ONE perfect human. All the rest of us are experiencing the learning process on planet earth. We make mistakes. Unfortunately, 'friendly fire' happens in family systems when life's war take place, and we regret so much of the hurt and harm that was done. We purpose to be a family of forgivers in our family. Not a family of perfect performers, but diligent forgivers seeking to understand why people do what they do so we can be of help with authentic love and helpful actions. Be curious rather than angry.
• Thesearejustthreeoptimistic ways to help on how to deal with debilitating grief.