In the world of computers and other technology, the Alpha chips are always pushing the envelope in performance and architecture. Also, in the world of finance and investment, a large alpha indicates that the stock or mutual fund has performed better than would be predicted given its beta, which is a measurement of an investment's volatility. When we think and speak of healing from grief and loss, we definitely want to perform better than what would be predicted. In order to maximize our inner happiness, peace, and empowerment, our grief-healing alphas must be the first order of preference in actions we decide upon.
Certainly, horrendous grief and sorrow bring volatility into our lives. Unwanted and often unexpected grief and loss happenings highlight how volatile our personal lives can be. In order to stop grieving and start healing, first in order of preference should be our best alpha actions.
Please remember, Alpha is the highest level in a group, or the best. An illustration of alpha is when it is used to describe a dog that is the frontrunner of the pack. What alpha actions should be leading us from sorrow and misery to happiness, peace, and a fuller life? Here are some top-notch thoughts for us to consider: You Can't Have Your Old Life Back! Our sorrowful condition may cause us to want our old life back. Nonetheless,horrendous grief happenings change our lives forever. The hard reality is that we can't have our old lives back. The quicker we accept our new condition and try to deal with the 'new you,' the sooner healing may begin. Now I am going to change my pronouns to focus upon you as an individual.
Don't Let Others or Your Condition Define You! Have you been thinking about the resolve and daily purpose necessary to make you’re new me, your new life, peaceful and happy, and about the conditions that are temporary and those that will remain permanent. Transforming your overwhelming grieving feelings into opportunities and possibilities really depends on your attitude. You have the power to decide. Take upon yourself the attitude: 'No one can do that for me. I am someone who has value, and that value is up to me. There is power in I think I can, I think I can, and sometimes I have to fake it until I make it. I will not let my condition or others define me.' I will decide!
Personal Power! The concept of Personal Power is not necessarily about physical muscle, or selfishness, or self-centeredness. Personal power is about heart and mind. It is about your declared active intentions, your willingness and determination to do, to trust the power that lives inside of you. Personal power is the source of anything and everything you do. It comes first, then everything follows. Learning to tap your personal power to create your own happiness is your challenge.
Empowerment Within! You need to take the attitude: 'I alone must learn to cope with my adversity. Feeling sorry for myself doesn't change the challenge. There are times when I am sad and angry, but I soon learn I waste my time being either. Instead I begin to dwell on the fact that my family and friends surround me, and I have inner strength that I can rely upon.' This is your task and requires you to dig deeply into your soul.
Hibernation! You may need a brief hiatus to think about what you will do and must do. However, it should be short. You can't hibernate and expect to awake in the spring and find your grief gone. A brief detour of sorrow may be required, but only take time to decide on a healing course of action. Don't wait until tomorrow to wake up and act.
Healing Reconciliation! Serious grief never completely goes away. You solve your grief by reconciling it and bringing happiness forward to push your sorrow aside. Healing is in the reconciling of your grief and loss. Reconciliation of your sorrowful condition brings into harmony the grieving you experience. This leads to healing. Make every effort to seize all the moments of every day to overcome loss, grief, and sorrow.
Now! Choose your alpha. Why wait until tomorrow, next week, or next month. The present is the best time to choose your alpha action, and it is the time for you to begin healing. The NOW is your challenge! You cannot bring back your old life as if you were rereading an old email. Although in your grief it is difficult to do so, you must accept your current circumstance. Choose your alpha action today. Begin now!
In conclusion, I would like to shift back to plural pronouns. You are not by yourself in this difficult journey. Others are struggling or have struggled with the same strains of adjusting to life after death! We need each other. We are not alone! So take the risk and reach out to family, friends, minister, priest, rabbi, or even a crazy chaplain like myself. We are here for you to encourage on your journey through the valley of the shallow of life after death.
John T. Catrett, III Scissortail Hospice Chaplain 306 North Main Street, Suite E Bristow, OK 74010 918.352.3080