When we are mourning a loss, often the last thing we feel like doing is laughing, but laughing can help! When did you last have a good laugh? How long has it been? Laughter breaks the grip of sadness that tries to hold fast to our lives siphoning all joy and happiness right out of it! Even fake laughter can release some of the pain we are carrying. Laughter helps us to break the illusion that life is horrible, unbearable, and ugly since our loss.
Laughter helps us to slip loose from the bondage of dreading the attempt to live or get along without our special family member, job, or even a favorite pet whom we loved and who was part of our daily life.
We are touching our true selves when we laugh and smile. Did you know that a healthy baby laughs over three hundred times a day, while the average adult laughs less than twenty times a day? The important thing to remember is that when we DO laugh, the painful shackles of our fears and worry momentarily drop away.
Sharing an example from my life as a child, dressing up and painting of our faces for Halloween was a big thing. When we were very young, our parents would dress up to walk us around the neighborhood. I think the adults on my block had a secret “who has the best costume” contest each year among themselves! Those were the days when joy filled our home with peals of laughter, and the whole idea of the empty-nest syndrome wasn't even a fleeting thought.
However, like anything in life, stewing in “what ifs or could have beens” of the past, toxic emotions like anger, guilt, or frustration can only make things worse. We must find our own happiness without depending on others and dwelling only on past memories.
When I lived in Carlsbad, New Mexico, each Halloween there were a lot of kids who would come through our neighborhood, and a several kids from our church would come to scare the minister with their costumes. All kinds of families would drive their kids to our streets to get the sweet loot, since most of the homes in our area welcomed the little tykes.
Instead of handing out bags of popcorn (I stopped giving candy some time ago), I decided to create my own laughter and smiles by dressing up weirdly in funny costumes. I loved the look on the children's faces as the door was opened, and this crazy-looking minister handed out their goodies. It is always fun to laugh together with children, isn't it?
One year the church family and I went Halloween Caroling. Yes, Halloween Caroling! We found a caroling book with Christian lyrics, borrowed a bus from our Christian camp, and out we went to many kids’ homes that lived in poverty to carol with Christian songs and pass out goodies to them. It made a big impact on the kids and their parents as we hugged them and gave them special treats.
I noticed the adults on the bus were mostly our older grandparents and elderly that found no reason to sulk because of their empty nest at home. There were young people who either had or wanted stable homes. We were more blessed to give than to receive! This was a creative way to show kids that they were loved and that we wanted to share in their joy by reaching out to them. Plus, we got to go to their homes, see their cool costumes, and laugh with them.
The key is how to bring laughter into our lives by not depending on others! That can be hard to do, but it is possible and can be easy at times. First, we must stop taking ourselves so seriously and just laugh. Second, we must look at life with childlike awe and wonder. We seem to lose that ability growing up... but we can bring it back.
In closing, I like to quote the late, great theologian, Erma Bombeck, 'If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.” John T. Catrett, III Refuge Care Hospice Chaplain 306 North Main Street, Suite E Bristow, OK. 74010 918.352.3080