I paused to look at one of the last roses of the season. I bent over to see if I could catch a whiff of fragrance. The princess of flowers was at the end of her journey. Her once brilliant red had faded to a yellowish brown; most of her velvety soft petals were strewn on the earth from which she had sprung. She looked sort of lost and abandoned. I thought of O. Henry's poignant short story 'The Last Leaf'. I wanted to ask this solitary rose what she was thinking. Was she sad to be bidding farewell to her life on earth? Was she satisfied with her life’s accomplishments? I wanted to engage her, to capture her someway for just a moment. Ah, if only she could talk!
Sometimes I envy the single- mindedness of a rose. Rising from earth, she is sure of what is expected of her. She will bud into a gorgeous creation, seducing the bees and butterflies with her alluring nectar so that they will go about pollinating and making it possible to spread the beauty of the rose elsewhere. As she moves through the process of fulfilling her destiny, she creates beauty and fills the air with her rich, warm aroma. Then, once she has spent all she has in life, she dies, leaving behind as a parting gift, tasty rose hips to nourish the plants and animals that have shared her life.
There is a part of me that also envies the confident path of the rose. If only I could be as certain about my path through life and be at peace. Instead, I worry about small stuff. I make mistakes. I wish I were more open to change. I catch myself thinking I should spend more time telling my wife, kids and grandchildren that I love them and what I treasure about each them. I really do hang my head for not having had saved more money for my old age. All the things we reflect back upon but cannot change.
I struggle with the many thoughts that pester my mind with 'I wish I had”, “if I could only”, and “I should have'. I also review my life like an old movie picture. Of course, it is my version of the memories of my life, yet I can hear (in my mind) that beautiful rose teasing me, 'Hey sir, you may be old enough to know better, but don't you remember that none of us are perfect in and of ourselves? Roses, humans, butterflies, and every living creature are all created with gaps and growth areas! It helps us connect with others. The challenges give purpose to life. Focus on the maturing that you have achieved, the lives you have touched, the way places are better because you made your contribution there. Accept that life is about learning. Learning is messy. Messy teaches us. We can learn. When our messy touches others, we can ask forgiveness.
When others’ messy touches us, we can forgive them. Together we can all learn, grow, and love more authentically and deeply.
I thought I was a little crazy standing there listening to a flower lecture me. I had to admit, she was making sense. I continued walking down the driveway to my home with a little more peace in my heart and spring in my step. As I neared my home, the gentle breeze seemed to bring one last whisper to my ears: 'One more thing, sir. You really are okay. Are you glad you stopped to smell the roses? Encourage someone else to do likewise.
John T. Catrett, III Scissortail Hospice Chaplain 306 North Main Street, Suite E Bristow, OK 74010 918.352.3080