Matthew 6:12, 14-15 (NLT): “ 12 and forgive us our sins, AS we have forgiven those who sin against us.” 14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” “ 15 But if {they} refuse to forgive {me}, {our} Father will not forgive {their} sins.”
I didn’t want that divorce. I needed that job. My family won’t accept me. My best friend betrayed me. I am unforgivable. My child turned their back on God. I experienced abuse as a child. Their gossip destroyed my good name. I’m stuck in my pain—because they won’t forgive me!
Whatever happened between you and another, regardless of how much pain . . . God says: “ 14 If you forgive those who sin against you, {I} your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, {then I} your Father will not forgive your sins.”
There is a story about a woman who was bitten by a rabid dog. She was rushed by ambulance to the hospital, where the tests exposed that she too had contracted the terrifying disease. Having no cure for rabies yet, the doctor informed her that her condition was terminal. He said, “Ma’am, we’ll do everything possible to make you comfortable, but you need to get your affairs in order as soon as possible.” In complete shock, the woman asked for something to write with. Pen and paper in hand, she began to write furiously. After an hour, the doctor stopped by her hospital room to check on her—where she continued to write vigorously. “I’m glad to see you took your situation seriously, and that you’re working on your will,” the doctor told her. “This is not a will,” the woman exclaimed.“This is all the people I want to bite before I die.”
As a Pastor, I have come to the conclusion that way too many people carry around such a list— maybe not on paper, but in their heart: a mate who deserted you; a friend who betrayed you; a family member who has done you wrong; a business associate who cheated you; or a child who disappointed you.
Deep down, you want vengeance for the pain they caused you, and it doesn’t take long before that need for vengeance becomes bitterness. The very essence of vengeance is our desire to see the other suffer for whatever it is that they did. The very essence of forgiveness means we let go of our desire— our perceived right—to make them hurt.
Choosing forgiveness over vengeance and bitterness is the only way the Christian can settle the debt. It is the only way for us to clean our own slate so we can get on with our lives in Him. It is the only way we can have a Divine Intimate Relationship with our Savior (By the way—if your relationship with another is broken due to unforgiveness—it is also broken with God). It is the only way to end pointless suffering, and If you want God to forgive you, it is your ONLY option.
Matthew 7:1-3 (NKJV) admonishes us to: “ 1 Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?”
Let me add a caveat here: When you forgive someone—it does not benefit them—nor does it let them off the hook. When we forgive—we cancel the debt we believe they owe us. We are the one who is set free from the perceived wrong and the expectancy of amends we believe they owe us, and forgiveness does not guarantee reconciliation.
Have you ever listened to your own words when you pray?: “ 12 and forgive us our sins, AS {in the same way} we have forgiven those who sin against us. 14 If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
You are asking God to forgive you in exactly the same way that you forgive those who have done you wrong, by the same measure! Let me say that differently: When you pray, trythese words: “Lord if someone has done me wrong . . . and I haven’t forgiven them . . . then don’t forgive me.”
If you don’t forgive—the stress and anger will affect your health. If you don’t forgive—you will be consumed with the cognitive desire for revenge. Jesus said very clearly—Your soul is the price for not forgiving. Forgiveness isn’t just for the other person—you need to forgive for your eternity’s sake. You will never have a Divine Intimate Relationship with Jesus the Christ, and you will never grow in your spiritual walk beyond your own unforgiveness.
The point I have been trying to make this morning is simple: FORGIVENESS IS NOT OPTIONAL! There is no room in the true Christian’s heart and life for an unforgiving spirit.
Always in His Service, Pastor Ron Fellowship Church of the Nazarene